Moments Slipping Away
by crzydanclvr
Summary: "I'm different," she whispered. "You're beautiful," he whispered. She looked away. "Don't say that." Massington! sounds cliche, and maybe it is... but don't underestimate.  Full summary inside R
1. A Loving Home

**Summary:(cont.)"I'm different," she whispered. "You're beautiful," he whispered. She looked away. "Don't say that." Massie has lead a messed up life. She moves in with her stepmom in the hopes that somehow she'll be able to start over. Derrick, the "player" has never felt anything towards a girl strong enough to change his ways. When he meets Massie, he's convinced he can get her. But Massie's not like that. She's built a wall between her and the world, and isn't about to let some guy change that. But who knows? Maybe he can finally get her to open up. **

**My newest story! Enjoy!**

Massie leaned against the cool window, only half aware of which cities she was whizzing by. Each town she passed through was an opportunity to start over, abandon her original plan and forget everything. But she couldn't do that.

As the bus slowed to a stop in Westchester, New York, she drowsily gathered her belongings. "Thank you," she said, giving a tired smile to the bus driver. He looked startled to be addressed by a passenger.

"Uh, you're welcome, miss," he replied hesitantly.

Massie stepped off the bus and savored the warm summer weather. She looked around and spotted Kendra, her stepmother.

"Hi, Massie," Kendra greeted, her business-like mannerism unaffected by the recent loss of her husband, Massie's dad.

"Hi," Massie nodded, looking around for a vehicle that might belong to Kendra. When she could find no cars except a limo parked across the street, she was confused.

Kendra, however, did not seem to notice anything amiss. "Come along," she gestured, crossing the street towards the limo.

"No way," Massie breathed. She had never particularly rich, and the presence of the limo made Massie self- consciously glance at her clothes. Kendra's business suit, she noted, was crisp and professional looking.

"This is Issac," Kendra introduced as she slid into the backseat, Massie right behind her. "I hired him as your personal driver."

Issac turned around and gave Massie a kind smile. "Hello," Massie said politely.

Kendra ignored her and continued like an imaginary check list was in front of her. "You'll be going to BOCD, a private co-ed high school. I didn't know what clothes you brought so I took the liberty of hiring someone to pick out an entire closet for you. You were always a smart dresser; I'm sure you'll manage. If you need anything else, don't feel intimidated to go up to Issac or Inez, the maid, with questions. This is all so new for you… I want you to be happy." Such loving words, ruined by the fact that Kendra had been checking her phone while she said them.

"There's a girl next door your age… I think her name is Claire. Maybe you could go over and say hi," Issac suggested quietly.

Massie smiled. "That would be great."

As the limo pulled into the driveway, Massie started to feel small again. The house was huge, at least twice the size of Massie's old home. Pale blue, it was homey yet oddly modern, angles jutting out randomly.

Massie wordlessly followed Kendra into the house and followed her up a flight of spiraling stairs. "There is so much room in this house," Kendra explained. "That you have an entire floor to yourself.

Kendra pushed through the curtain separating the stairs and the floor. Massie gasped in delight.

The room was white, with splashes of color here and there. The bed stood in the corner, completely white, with a fuzzy deep purple rug lying at its feet. Thrown next to it were four white beanbags. A Mac computer stood on a glass desk lined with pink. The curtains were a tie-dye of silver and lavender. Another door signaled the entrance to the bathroom. The closet doors were double doors and Massie guessed it was a walk-in. But the best part was a mannequin in the corner, exactly the height and shape of Massie.

"Um, Inez thought it would be a good idea," Kendra said awkwardly. Massie only nodded, overcome with gratitude. She spotted more double doors and swung them open.

They opened to reveal a walk out balcony, with a tall tree twisting on its side. Perfectly cliché, Massie thought with a smile, noticing how easy it would be to climb. She turned back into the room.

"Thank you, Kendra," she whispered. Kendra only nodded, and slipped through the curtain, leaving Massie to the horrendous task of unpacking.

As she finished packing, she flopped onto her bed. Checking her phone, she noticed one new text message.

From: Issac

Claire is here to visit

Massie sighed, dreading what was going to happen.

"It won't be like last time," she promised herself. "I'm starting over again."

**What do you think? A little boring I know, but there's more to come. And im stopping my other two stories... new computer, old files lost... you get the picture. If you're wondering what's with the whole stepmom thing, just go with it. It'll be revealed in maybe two or three chapters.**

**You know what I just love? Reviews! Good or bad, whatever. Although its pretty annoying when I get an alert that's like fav author or story (Not that you should stop doing that ;)) But a review with it would be even better!**

**~Lili**

**P.S.-I write for myself, not for the pleasure of others. (one of my fav quotes)**


	2. New friends, new foes

**I know my chapters are short... but its better than nothing right? I really hope im not talking to myself, because that would mean no one is reading this :'(**

_Previously:_

_As she finished packing, she flopped onto her bed. Checking her phone, she noticed one new text message._

_From: Issac_

_Claire is here to visit_

_Massie sighed, dreading what was going to happen._

_"It won't be like last time," she promised herself. "I'm starting over again."_

"-and so nice that Massie will already have a friend on her first day," Kendra was saying as Massie tiptoed down the stairs. Massie took a deep breath and looked down at her new outfit, chosen from the huge mall that was her closet.

"Exactly," Claire replied. Massie chose that moment to walk into the living room. Claire turned and smiled.

She had a kind and inviting smile, accented by her alert eyes. Her dirty blonde hair hung pin straight down to her shoulders, bangs pinned to the side.

"Nice to meet you," she exclaimed, reaching out her hand. A hug would seem too informal, Massie agreed silently.

Kendra cleared her throat, and it was clear that spending more time with Massie and Claire would squeeze her tight schedule to death. "Massie, this is Claire. She lives down the street, and Issac will be taking both of you to school on Monday."

Massie forced a smile. "Sounds good."

"Well, I have a meeting but feel free to stay, Claire," Kendra replied distractedly, mind already buzzing away.

As she walked out, Claire turned to Massie. "So, how's Westchester?"

"Alright, I guess," Massie replied. "But I haven't seen anyone our age except for you. Where are they?"

Claire smiled and shrugged. "The pool, malls, Starbucks… actually, some of my friends are hanging out at a great pizza place close by. You could meet more people…"

"I would love to come," Massie said gratefully, aware of how considerate Claire was being.

As Massie silently followed Claire into the Slice of Heaven, she spotted a group of friends all crowded around one table.

"Claire! There you are! Our house really isn't that far from here…" One of them broke away from the group and bounded towards Claire, giving Massie an appraising look. He was tall, masculine, and looked like a boy version of Claire. Twins, Massie guessed.

"Well, I told you," Claire replied, taking a seat at the table and gesturing to an empty one beside it for Massie to sit in. "I was going to visit Ms. Block. Her daughter just moved in with her," she added.

"Massie, this is Derrick, my brother and twin," she introduced.

Derrick smiled and said, "Hey." Massie could tell he was staring at her but avoided his gaze, choosing instead to pay attention to Claire's introductions.

"This is Kristen." Kristen was a tall, athletic looking girl who was currently immersed in a conversation with the boy sitting next to her.

Claire shot them an amused glare. "And the boy she's completely engrossed in is Kemp."

They both looked up, blushing. "Shut up, Claire," Kemp joked. "Like you don't get completely lost when you're talking to Cam."

Now it was Claire's turn to blush. Massie, who didn't know anyone except who Claire had already introduced, was completely baffled.

"Oh, that guy talking to Derrick is Cam." Claire pointed to the other end of the table. Massie smiled politely, but was still confused. So many new people all at once; she felt overwhelmed.

"Where's the bathroom?" she asked. Claire looked up from her conversation with Kristen.

Claire stood up and pointed near the door. "Just go right." Massie silently thanked her and went in that direction. Just as she turned into the hallway, someone grabbed her arm.

"Going somewhere?"

Massie screamed, memories flooding back and blurring her vision. She yanked out of the grip and flew out the door. Only when she was outside did she realize that it had only been Derrick. She forced herself to calm down and pressed her back against the side of the building, breathing heavily.

"It wasn't real," she whispered to herself. "It won't happen again." She could feel tears forming in her eyes and hastily wiped them away.

She silently yelled at herself. Years were needed for her to build her wall, and yet one small incident had caused it to crumble once more.

Derrick poked his head out the door. When he saw her, he stepped out. "Are you okay?" he asked, concerned. Massie nodded and attempted a smile.

"I'm so sorry. I just-"

Massie shook her head. "No, it's my fault. I overreacted. It's just that it reminded me so much of…" she trailed off.

Derrick nodded, sensing the pain she was in. He wrapped an arm around her, not caring that they had just met.

"Thanks," she sniffed, cursing herself for being so weak. She was suddenly aware of the situation.

Wriggling out of his grasp, she said, "Did anyone notice?" Derrick shook his head.

"That place is so loud and busy that I doubt anyone would have noticed if an elephant ran through." Massie giggled.

Derrick pulled out his phone. "Ah, excuse me," he said. Massie nodded.

"Hello? Oh, hey Dylan. Yeah, I am… well I just told you I'm busy right now. Our date is tonight at seven… what?" Massie froze at the sound of the word "date". But then she shrugged it off. She didn't even know him!

"What do you mean you can't come?" Derrick yelled into the phone angrily. "I don't care about your shopping trip… that's right! You know what? We're through!" he exclaimed, hitting the end button ferociously.

Massie backed away slowly, realizing what an awkward position she was in. Derrick paid no attention to her, scrolling down his phone.

"Hello? Lauren? It's Derrick. How would you like to go to dinner with me tonight?" Massie felt scandalized. Instantly, her feelings towards Derrick changed. Nothing more than the average player, she concluded with a sigh.

When she walked back into the restaurant, she could feel tension in the air. She walked back to the table, where two new girls were standing.

One was standing at the head of the table with one hand on her hip and one twirling a strand of her long, curly dark hair. As Massie approached, she noted how pretty she was. Spanish, most likely.

The other was standing right next to her with a sneer on her face. A crazy red head, with her hair in a side bun.

"What are you doing here?'' Massie heard Claire jeer. With a jolt, she realized that the girls weren't friendly.

"Just saying hello," the red head replied, looking around and spotting Massie. "Who are you?"

Claire grabbed Massie and pulled her next to her. "This is Massie."

"Massie, huh?" the Spanish beauty repeated. "I'm Alicia. This is Dylan," she said, referring to the redhead. Massie made the connection to Derrick.

"You don't seem too bad," Dylan remarked, glancing at Massie. "Although, you are hanging out with Claire. We're going to the mall. Are you coming?" Massie blinked in disbelief.

Alicia shrugged. "Fine, then."

"Now that you're done trying to take my friend," Claire interjected hotly. "Why are you here?"

Dylan narrowed her eyes. "I came to visit my _boyfriend_. But as I just dumped him, never mind." Massie swallowed a laugh at Dylan's noticeable discomfort. Alicia and Dylan were simply minnows wearing shark costumes.

"Let's go, Leesh." They both pivoted and walked out the door in a huff. Kristen burst out laughing.

"Every time," she giggled.

**whats your opinion on Derrick? And i know you must be confused but like I said, she has lead a messed up life. It'll all be revealed soon...**

**another short chapter *sigh* i promise the next one will be longer! This was just a filler chapter, so be prepared!**

**Next time:**

**-Derrick starts paying attention to Massie... she avoids him**

**-Massie's first day of school**

**-Massie and kendra have a "talk" (not about what you think!)**

**-Massie gets a blast from the past.. and not the good kind**


	3. Healing Scars

**hey! i know its been a while, but this week was... well lets just say my toes are in pain from dancing :) but i have delivered what i promised so... here ya go! enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Clique...sadly**

Massie tossed and turned, her thoughts spinning around her brain like a tornado. They kept coming back to Derrick. He was so different, so… confusing. One moment he was caring, the next he completely ignored her! She sighed.

Massie wasn't about to let one boy occupy her thoughts. She instead focused on clearing her mind and concentrating on her breathing. She finally fell asleep.

The next morning, she woke up with a start and realized that it was Monday. Her first day of school. Sighing, she glanced at her clock. Six o'clock, one hour until she had to leave.

Walking to her closet, she remembered that she had laid out her clothes the night before. On her new mannequin, she thought with a smile.

Forty-five minutes later she was ready. As she walked down the stairs, she noted that Kendra had already left, leaving a blueberry muffin on the counter for Massie.\

"How sweet," Massie said aloud.

"Yes, Miss is very nice. Wanted you to have a great first day, she said." Massie turned and came face to face with an older lady in a light blue dress.

"You must be Inez," Massie exclaimed, smiling widely.

Inez nodded. "That's me. And you are Massie, right?"

"That's right. It's so nice to meet you. I was wondering if you knew where Issac is."

"Waiting by the car is my guess," Inez shrugged. Massie smiled and nodded, walking out the door with muffin in hand.

"Thank you! Have a nice day."

As she rushed out the door, Inez smiled to herself. "Such a nice girl."

Massie opened the front door and bounced to where the limo was. "Good morning, Issac."

Issac nodded. "Good morning, Miss Block. Are you ready to leave?"

"Yes, I am." She climbed into the seat and said, "Claire's, please." It was a good thing Issac knew the way, for Massie certainly did not.

As they drove through the winding streets, Massie was amazed. The houses were so… grand, she thought with amazement. They pulled to a stop in front of a grand white house with a winding driveway.

"I'll text her," Massie said, pulling out her new I-phone, another generous gift from Kendra. Massie knew the reason for it. Kendra thought that by showering Massie with gifts, it would make up for her distance. But it didn't. Nothing could.

As Massie and Claire pulled up to the school, Massie started feeling nervous.

"Don't worry," Claire reassured her. "You already know tons of people, like Kristen and Kemp."

Massie only nodded, spotting Derrick out of the corner of her eye. He was walking at the front of a small group of guys, smiling as they all laughed with him. "You're right. I'll be fine, right?"

Claire nodded firmly. "Right."

Massie took a deep breath and pushed the car door open. She felt self-conscious already. She couldn't help but notice the groups of people that were whispering, no doubt about her, as she walked with Claire to the front door.

Just as she reached out to grab the door handle, another hand reached out and opened it for her.

"Thank you-" She stopped when she saw it was Derrick.

"You're welcome, Block," he smirked. She remembered what had happened the day before and forced herself to keep walking. To her dismay, he followed, his gang of guys mysteriously gone.

"Seriously, Der," Claire sighed. "Don't you have to go to your locker or something? I have to show Massie where her locker is." She handed him the sheet with all of Massie's schedule information. Massie cringed, wishing she hadn't done that.

When he had finished looking at it, he smiled. "Her locker is right by mine. And we have the first two periods together."

Massie held back a groan and sideways- glanced at Claire. She knew how she felt about Derrick. Claire looked at her and said, "Ah, well then we'll see you later." Then she hurried away with Massie, leaving Derrick like a game show contestant who had just risked it all and lost.

When Massie walked into the lunch room, Claire was nowhere to be found. Alicia stood up, the events yesterday apparently behind her.

"Hey," Alicia greeted, flipping her obvious extensions and flashing Massie a winning smile. "Do you want to sit with us?" she gestured to a group of girls in the corner, Dylan among them.

"Um…" Massie glanced around, hoping to spot Claire of Kristen. Although she didn't see them, she did see Derrick shooting her a half- hopeful glance from his table of friends. Realizing that her options were extremely limited, she nodded.

"Sure." Alicia beamed.

"That's Olivia," she said as they approached the table. She was pointing to the blonde sitting next to Dylan. "And that," she said pointing to the girl next to Olivia. "Is Skye."

Skye looked up, cocking her head to the side innocently. "Did you say my name?" Alicia ignored her. "Her parents own Body Alive Dance Studio." Skye glowed.

"And I'm the lead dancer," Skye interjected, throwing Alicia a triumphant look that disappeared in a second.

Alicia shot her a forced smile. "Yeah." Alicia took a seat and gestured for Massie to do the same.

"So," Dylan said, leaning in and pushing her food to the side. "Why were you with Claire and Kristen?"

"Um," Massie stalled. She wasn't about to trash talk her first friends; however she did want to get on these girls' good side. It was obvious they had reputation judging by the jealous looks they received. "I don't really know them. Why?"

Skye laughed lightly. "New girls are the best."

Olivia giggled along with her. "We hate them, that's why." Alicia rolled her eyes like Olivia was an idiot.

"Because," Alicia started. "They used to be a part of our…group. But then they totally turned against us. They are so dead to us. They told all the guys our…secrets!" Massie's expression was one of pure shock.

"They really did that?" Massie asked, gasping. Olivia nodded along with Dylan. Massie continued to sip her water. They hadn't seemed like bad girls, Massie thought to herself.

Skye continued, food forgotten. "They told Derrick about Josh-" Alicia cut her off.

"She doesn't need to know about that," she interrupted curtly.

"Who's Josh?" Massie asked confusedly.

"Oh the guy that Alicia was with when she was cheating on Derrick," Olivia replied, beaming like an idiot. Alicia shot her a furious glare and turned to make amends with Massie.

"It's a long story," she told her. "I… Derrick was never really the one for me. But he was so… he was so cliché I convinced myself that it would work out somehow. Then I met Josh. He was different. I felt different when I was with him. But I still thought that Derrick was the one. When I was at Josh's house, one thing lead to another and… Derrick walked in."

Alicia turned away, her face scarred with sadness. "I'll never forgive myself for breaking his heart." Massie put an arm around her. Just the other day they were malicious and mean; now they were little girls.

"It's not your fault," Massie assured her. "You thought you were doing the right thing; how can you blame yourself?"

'Really?" Alicia sniffled. "Thanks, Mass." She held her arms out for a hug. Massie returned it, thinking that the feud between the two groups was beyond confusing.

When she got home that afternoon, Massie walked slowly to the door. Claire, who had gotten busy catching up with her friends and talking about the events of the weekend, had unintentionally ditched Massie after fourth period. After that, Massie was forced to locate her classes on her own.

And there was that placement test. The test to see what level your writing was at, and how that would affect your class placement. Massie, who loved to write, was hopeful/ expecting that she would get into the advanced placement, especially after Claire assured her that almost everyone got into it. She didn't pass. No explanation, no critique; she was plopped into the "regular" class with an uninviting welcome.

"Massie?" Kendra called. Massie only slumped down into a seat.

"Here," she replied tiredly. Kendra walked into the room, sliding her phone shut with a resounding click."

She looked up, saw Massie, and smiled grimly. "We need to talk." She signaled for Massie to follow her into the living room.

"Yes, Kendra?" Massie asked, refusing to call her 'mom'.

"Massie," she said quietly but firmly. "I have to know what happened with your mom, Layne."

Massie shook her head and sighed. "I can't," she said brokenly.

"I know… I know it's hard. But you need to tell someone. It can't just keep eating away at your insides."

"No. I'm sorry, Kendra. Maybe after some time, but not now."

"Massie-"

Massie stood up, vision blurred with tears created from anger, confusion, and hurt. "You don't understand. It's not like I'm eager to open up my wounds and let them bleed." Kendra tried to speak again, but Massie cut her off again.

"I lived my whole life being pushed around-literally. I won't let that happen again, Kendra. Please, just give me more time. I still feel like I'm sinking; I have to figure this entire thing out." The tears were now overflowing.

Kendra sighed, defeated. "You're right. I shouldn't have… Massie, I'm sorry, I-"

"It's fine."

"No, I really-"

Massie shook her head. "Really."

Dropping her head, Kendra nodded silently. Massie stood, wavering between giving Kendra a hug and walking out. She decided against the former and chose the latter. Walking out, she felt a pang of loneliness, something she knew that Kendra was familiar with.

Once upstairs, she checked her phone. One new voicemail. "Hm," Massie wondered aloud, pressing listen and holding her phone to her ear.

"One new message," the clear, cool voice said to her through the speaker. Massie waited as the beep signaled the start of the voicemail.

"Hey, Massie. It's Georgia… Woodley. Your mom's friend. I'm in Westchester and I was wondering if I could see you. Layne is… well it would be a chance to see you again. I know that you've moved on but… she hasn't. She's agreed to keep her distance; she's staying on the border of New Jersey. Call me if you're interested. My number is-" Massie pressed end.

Her promise to start over was slapping her in the face. Layne had sounded so…normal, but she really was anything but. Massie shuddered, remembering with horror all the nights Layne would come with Georgia and her other drunken friends.

"Aw, poor baby Massie," they would coo. "Does she need her mommy to help her?" And then they would laugh, watching Layne hurt her own daughter with malicious glee. Massie shook the memories out of her head.

"Hey, Claire. It's Massie," Massie said into the phone. "Do you want to come over? You can bring all your friends, if you want."

Claire squealed into the phone. "Yes! I can invite Kristen and Kemp and Cam and Lauren and Amanda and Tracey and-" Massie cut her off with a smile.

"You can go crazy if you want, girl," she laughed. "Maybe in half an hour?"

"See ya then, chica," Claire replied.

Next, Massie texted Alicia, Skye, Dylan, and Olivia.

**TO: Leesh; Skye; Dyl; Livvy**

Party at my house? In half n hr; Claire nd them are comn 2

Massie waited a moments before everyone texted back.

**FROM: Leesh**

sounds good

**TO: Leesh**

cyaz, grli

**FROM: Livvy**

cnt, shopping w/ sis hve fun!

**TO: Livvy**

well miss u! nd u to

**FROM: Skye**

lov 2! whos goin?

**TO: Skye**

so far, leesh…livvy cnt

**FROM: Dyl**

cnt, fam din. have fun

**TO: Dyl**

kk, well cyaz!

Massie tapped her fingers against her phone, contemplating what she would wear. Blazer with a mini skirt? A knee- length dress? She finally decided on a loose flowery tank top, white cardigan, and jeggings with Jimmy Choo sandals.

Her auburn hair was hanging in loose curls, her brown eyes framed with smoky eye-shadow. She checked her phone.

**FROM: Claire**

Were here

Massie sighed, realizing what she had just done. She had just invited two bitter rivals to a party at her home. Great.

**what did you think? i gotta say, ill be really busy next week, but ill try to update asap :) anyway, thanks for reading!**

**~Lili**


	4. Old Promises

**Hey! First of all, I wanted to say sorry. I've had dance ALL weekend, legit :) i know that this chap is short, but I didn't have that much time to update. Well Ill try to update soon but itll take at least a week :'(**

**Im so sorry!**

Claire arrived first, bringing with her a huge smile and a small gift bag. "Hey, Mass!" she exclaimed.

"Claire!" Massie replied back. Derrick walked in from behind Claire.

"Mass," he nodded. She did the same. He looked around, obviously impressed. "Any guys coming?" Massie looked to Claire for confirmation, but she only shrugged.

"Cam should be coming. And I sent Kemp a text so…" she trailed off. Then she thrust the bag in front of Massie's surprised face.

"For you." Beaming, Massie lifted out the tissue paper, revealing a small velvet box. When she opened it, she gasped.

It was a gold charm bracelet, with two little empty frames already hanging. "It's so beautiful…" Massie breathed. "Thank you so much!"

Claire smiled. "You're welcome. I figured that you'd want to put in the pictures yourself." As Massie and Claire continued to gush over the bracelet, Derrick stood in place, letting his eyes wander around the grand entrance, wondering how on earth he had been convinced to come.

He glanced at Massie. "_Oh yeah," he thought. "That's why."_

Half an hour later everyone was there, lying in Massie's room in front of the tv. A commercial came on, and the attention turned from the screen to the sound of Skye.

"-and then I was like, 'Well then why'd you do it?' Right? Well then he goes, -" Claire cut her off.

"He goes what?" she said mockingly. "I doubt what he said can be more horrible than the sound of your voice." Kristen snickered quietly.

Skye raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Oh, Kuh-laire. If only…" Skye tapped her perfectly manicured finger against her chin and sighed. "I can't find the right word to finish that sentence. I mean… there are just too many choices. From your bad hair to…" she gestured to her whole body. Claire glowered.

"Enough." Massie stood. "Stop acting like stupid children."

Kristen sighed. "Massie," she said quietly, watching as Claire and Skye continued to glare daggers at each other. "Don't worry. They're just throwing insults. They do this all the time. It's no big deal."

"Kristen?" Alicia said sweetly. "Are you and Massie married?"

Kristen looked at her. "No…"

"Then why are you trying to change her?" Alicia giggled.

Rolling her eyes, Kristen said, "Really?" Alicia shrugged haughtily.

"Really!" Massie shouted. "Stop it! You say they're just insults. , Well, insults can turn to screams, screams turn into slaps, slaps turn into hits and you have no idea. NO idea." Massie faltered, regretting her outburst at once. Everyone was staring at her, TV long forgotten.

"Massie… Cam whispered. "Are you okay?" Massie shook her head, feeling overwhelmed.

Throwing down the remote, she muttered, "Just need some fresh air."

She did not care who followed; she needed to be free of their stares. She had revealed too much. Massie hated feeling out of control. She wanted to be in charge of her life and emotions, but lately it had seemed impossible.

"My promise to Ataya," she reminded herself. "I won't ever, ever break it."

"Who's Ataya?" A voice behind her said gently. She turned.

"Why are you always the one to follow?" she teased lightly. Derrick shrugged, glancing up at the sky as a way to stall.

"Well, Ataya's my… baby sister." Massie swallowed.

Derrick glanced at her and said, "Oh." He seemed content to know that little, and for that Massie was grateful.

Massie cleared her throat. "Um, I forgot to say thanks. I mean, for offering to help me this morning and everything." Derrick nodded.

"You're welcome. And… I got you something." He reached his hand into his pocket and pulled out a charm.

"Um, I got this for you." Massie took the little golden charm. It was pure gold, she guessed, in the shape of a D.

"Uh, thanks," she smiled. He nodded in reply. "Well…" She started to go back inside, but he stopped her, clearing his throat.

"Well I was wondering if you wanted to see a movie with me… like this weekend or something."

Massie stared at him. "Like, on a date?" He searched for a reply but finally nodded.

Massie continued to stare at him. She did like him, well mostly, but he was a player. She couldn't deal with that kind of drama right now.

"Well, I'd rather just be friends." Massie's heart plummeted as she watched his expression drop. "I mean… it's just that I have so much to handle right now, I can't-"

He cut her off with a kiss on her cheek. " I understand," he whispered. She just stood there as he walked back inside, wondering what on earth had just happened.

When she walked back inside, everyone stopped whispering. Avoiding their questioning gazes, she turned off the TV.

Attempting a smile, she said, "What do you guys want to do next?" Skye spoke up.

"Truth or Dare…" she smiled suggestively. Alicia nodded vigorously. Massie glanced at Claire, who just shrugged.

"I call first," Kristen exclaimed. She turned to Massie and smiled.

"Truth or dare?" Massie tapped her chin thoughtfully.

"Uh, dare." Kristen smiled maliciously, and Massie silently chided herself for making such a foolish decision.

"I dare you…" she glanced at Derrick, who was staring at the ground in deep thought. "to go on a date with Derrick." He looked up, mouth half open with surprise.

Massie glared at her. "What?" Smiling smugly in response, Kristen nodded.

"You heard me." Even Skye and Alicia were grinning, their hands over their mouths trying to cover their smiles.

Massie grumbled, "I can't believe this."

**hehehe evil skye... what's going to happen next? Until next time, my lovely readers ;)**

**review review review! you dont even need to sign in**

**~lili**


	5. Date Night

**hey my lovely readers! sorry its taking so long, but next im going to florida! woot woot time for the beach! **

**Disclaimer: I dont own the Clique, or I wouldn't be sitting in my bed and watching tv. Id be living a glam life haha**

Massie studied herself in the mirror, remembering Kristen's rules in stunning detail.

"_It has to be at Carolina's. At least an hour and a half- we will be counting. Dress nicely, this is a fancy restaurant. But don't worry about the reservation- we'll handle that for you."_

She was wearing knee length dark purple dress with black heels bejeweled with diamonds. Jakkob had added small braids to her curls, something she had spotted in a recent issue of Teen Vogue.

When she heard the doorbell ring, she took a deep breath. "It's just a bet," she reminded herself. Coming down the stairs, she saw that Kendra had already answered the door.

"-how wonderful," Kendra was saying. Derrick nodded slowly. "Well that does sound exciting. I hope you two have a lovely time."

Massie smiled. "We'll be home by ten." Kendra simply shrugged.

"Alright."

As she exited, Massie and Derrick were left in an awkward silence. He cleared his throat. "You look amazing."

She bit her lip and managed a smile. "Thanks. You too."

They managed to get through the car ride with a considerable amount of conversation, switching from topics like Derrick's goalie position on the soccer team to their homework.

The hostess at the front door was a tall blonde, in the middle of checking her phone under the podium. She was oblivious to the couple until Derrick cleared his throat loudly.

"Oh, hello," she beamed, more directed at Derrick than Massie. Massie glanced at her name tag. Melanie. "How can I help you?" she said graciously.

"Uh we have a reservation under Harrington." Massie answered before Derrick had even opened his mouth. Melanie nodded and tapped away on the computer.

"Oh, here we are. Follow me, please."

They passed secluded, dimly lit booths, large round tables, and stopped at an exit opening out into the balcony. When Melanie opened the door, they saw a single table illuminated by the moon and candlelight.

"You've got to be kidding me," Massie muttered. She turned back to the door and thought she saw a lock of blonde hair dash out of sight. It looked suspiciously like Claire's. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

When she turned around, Derrick was already seated. "You coming?" he asked, nodding to the seat across from him.

She sat down slowly. "That hostess was…"

He laughed, "Was what?"

"A little too friendly," she finished, taking a sip from the tall glass of water in front of her.

"Jealous?" he teased.

Massie scoffed. "Ha, ha. Why would I be jealous?"

She expected to laugh and joke, but instead he just leaned across the table. "I don't know he whispered. "I was hoping you could tell me."

Massie blinked, unaware that they were now inches apart. "I…" He leaned in.

She stopped herself, spotting Kristen and Claire from the corner of her eye. Realizing she had stopped, Derrick followed suit. He coughed embarrassingly.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

He shook his head. "I shouldn't have… I thought that… never mind." Massie felt her face fall.

"No, I do like you, but I just-"

"Just what?"

"I can't be with you," she said quietly. "I can't trust you."

Massie saw his face harden. "Why?" he demanded, his voice now angry and hurt. "Because I'm a 'player?'"

She didn't get a chance to reply. "I thought you understood me," he said. Massie only sat there, her head down, eyes filling with tears.

He stood, and the scraping of the chair burned in Massie's mind. "I guess I was wrong," he spat.

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed silently, but by that time she was sitting outside alone.

She barely noticed Claire and Kristen as they drove her home, choosing to remain ignorant of their concerned glances.

The first thing she did when she got home was fling herself on her bed and cry. Her mistrust had once again left her alone and hurt. She suddenly knew what she had to do. Like a ghost, Massie glided down the stairs and walked into Kendra's office.

Kendra looked up, and took in Massie's appearance. She stood up immediately looking like the concerned, loving and caring mother Massie had never had. "What's wrong?" she exclaimed softly.

"I'll tell," Massie said brokenly. "I'll tell you what happened with Layne."

Kendra rushed to embrace her in a comforting hug, but Massie shrugged away. "I don't need motherly love. I grew up without it, and now I don't even want it."

Kendra understood, dropping her arms and taking a cautious step backwards. "You're right. Go on."

Massie sat the chair facing Kendra's desk. She hated sitting there. She felt like a small child, unable to control her life.

"Layne started acting strangely when the divorce happened," she started numbly. She had blocked off these memories for too long; they now flooded her mind at an alarming rate.

"She stopped going to work, just staying at home and drinking away our money. I was scared, to say the least. I found unpaid bills everywhere; under the bed, in books, even in the bathroom.

"Ataya was…" her voice stopped working for a moment. Massie closed her eyes and forced herself to continue. "She was only six, and I didn't know what to do. When Layne came home, I tried to keep her out of sight and took the beating. But she was so small, she didn't understand how dangerous it was for her and," Massie's voice was thick with tears.

"One day," she said softly. "She saw what Layne was doing to me, and she tried to help. But Layne took her instead. I tried to stop her, I really did," Massie cried, telling herself this as much as she was telling Kendra.

"But it was too late. Ataya was so small; she had no chance against Layne." Her breathing was now uneven. " She died." Massie voice broke into a sob that racked her chest.

It was obvious that Massie was done sharing. Kendra cleared her throat and blinked away the tears that had formed in her eyes. "Massie, thank you. You have no idea how brave you really are," she whispered.

Massie looked up. "You don't care," she sobbed.

"Of course I care," Kendra replied.

"No, you don't," Massie insisted, tears still flowing steadily. "My own father never even called to check on his daughters."

"I'm sorry, I-"

"He was too busy with his new wife," Massie said bitterly. "He didn't care about the two children he had left in the care of a maniac."

"Massie, how could he know that Layne was crazy?" Kendra said gently.

"Because," she replied angrily, her tears becoming hot. "He knew. Why do you think he left us? He didn't care once he was free." Massie turned away, the room spinning.

"Massie I-" She didn't hear the rest. Massie collapsed, hearing Kendra exclaim in alarm and urgency before the world faded to darkness.

**AHHHHH! what just happened? till next time!**

**~lili**


	6. The Hospital

**hey! im so sorry for the wait but after the beach we had to drive (again) to chicago soo yeah **

Massie woke up to the sound of muted beeping. The wall that greeted her eyes was a blinding white. Groggily, she tried to sit up, but was held back by a mass of wires.

"Where am I?" she tried to ask, but nothing came out. Her voice had stopped working. She looked around wildly.

A lone nurse was tending to the garden of flowers next to her bed. Massie coughed, and she looked up in alarm.

"Oh! You're awake," she smiled. She set down the pitcher of water. "How do you feel?"

Massie shook her head and pointed to her throat. The nurse frowned. "I'll call the doctor."

Half an hour later the doctor walked out of her room and into the waiting room, where an anxious mob of people were waiting.

"How is she?" Kendra asked, for the first time giving full her full and undivided attention.

"Her voice seems to have shut off," the doctor said worriedly.

Derrick stood up, his voice emotionless. "What do you mean?"

The doctor took in his aggressive stance and challenging words as fear and concern. "No need to worry," he assured him. "There is a part of your brain that controls your memories. My guess is that remembering the painful memories triggered that muscle and shut her voice down as a protective reflex."

Skye stood. "How long until it 'turns on?'"

"One month is the minimum," he replied quietly. "I would advise you not to pressure her, at least for the time being. This process requires time and patience."

From the other side of the wall, Massie felt relieved and horrified at the same time. She removed her ear from the wall and sank back into the bed.

"One month," she thought to herself. Already, the unnatural silence was unnerving.

She breathed deeply and slowly sank into a deep slumber, relieved that she would be able to wake again.

The room was dark when she woke up again. Derrick stood over her, and she pretended to be asleep.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I never knew; I never cared enough to ask. You were right about me. But I'm changing, thanks to you." She felt his hand graze her cheek before he tiptoed away. She sighed and turned the other way to face the window. She had been wrong about him, after all.

She was able to return home the next day. The waiting room had slowly emptied out. Only Kendra was there when the nurses brought Massie out. She looked up, her usual composure scarred by puffy eyes and dripping tears.

"Massie," she cried silently. She rushed forward and embraced her with a passion Massie wasn't expecting.

She stroked Massie's hair lovingly. "Let's go home."

"I've been thinking a lot about what you told me," Kendra whispered as they drove home in the setting sun.

"I never even thought about you and Layne," Kendra confessed. Massie nodded like she understood. "He never brought it up and… it just never occurred to me."

"I was so foolish. A business woman?" She laughed bitterly. "I can't even handle my own life."

"I was never meant to be a mother. You helped me see that. But I'm trying, I really am." Massie stopped her with a light hand on the arm and a small smile.

"I you love like a mother," Kendra smiled. Massie mouthed the same.

They drove in content silence the rest of the way. When they pulled into the driveway, Kendra said, "That boy, Derrick, he called quite a few times. One of the last to leave, I noticed."

Massie nodded. There was no way to call him, she sighed. As if reading her mind, Kendra gestured to her bike. "Go on."

"Massie!" Derrick exclaimed as he opened the door. Massie stepped into his house and smiled hesitantly.

"You're out of the hospital," he said softly. She reached into the pocket of her jeans and pulled out a small notepad, Inez's idea.

_Yeah,_ she wrote._ Kendra said you called a few times._

He laughed. "Yeah."

"Listen… I'm sorry about what I said," he confessed, turning away from her. She gently laid her hand on his shoulder and shook her head.

_Don't be._ _It was my fault._

He smiled. "You don't get how much you've changed everyone. Claire actually likes Skye and Alicia now. Josh and I are finally on speaking terms."

Massie shrugged. _Thanks, but I don't think that was because of me._

His laugh quickly faded into the silence. "Kendra told me what happened," he mumbled softly. Massie looked up sharply.

_She did?_ He took in her angry expression and tried to calm her down quickly.

"It's my fault. I begged her to tell me." Massie sighed.

_You have a right to know. But just please, don't tell anyone else. Not even Claire._

"I won't, I promise."

_Thanks._

He angled his face away from her for a few moments. "I was hoping…" he cleared his throat and tried again.

"I was hoping that you'd give me another chance. I've changed, really." He looked at her pleadingly.

_You don't even have to ask._ Massie smiled and Derrick threw his arms around her.

"About Georgia…" he mumbled into her hair. He pulled a few inches away so he could see her face. "You aren't going, right?"

Massie shrugged. _I don't know,_ she confessed. _I shouldn't but I feel like I have to._

He nodded slowly. "Just know this," he smiled. "I'll go with anywhere you."

Massie took a deep breath and picked up the phone and glanced at the piece of paper that was stuck to her desk. She dialed quickly, like ripping off a bandage. Then she handed it to Derrick, who pressed speakerphone.

She had written down everything she wanted him to say on a notepad. He took it, scanned it once, and nodded briefly.

"Hello?" The voice that answered was nothing like the one in the voicemail. Massie shuddered. It was groggy and scratchy, almost like a croak.

"Hello, is this Georgia?"

"Depends who's asking," was the curt reply from the other side of the line.

"This is Derrick, here with Massie Block." Massie could almost feel Georgia straighten up, though she could not see her.

"Oh, my apologies, Derrick. Did she receive my voicemail, then?"

"Yes."

"And…"

"She's prepared to meet you, in a place she has designated with at least two witnesses."

Georgia laughed, the sound filling Massie like a suffocating snake. "Very well. And she does not speak for herself? Is she afraid?" Her courteous manner loss some of its silkiness and regained its former gruffness and mocking tone.

"That is none of your concern," Derrick said harshly. "Only know that you have taken more than one thing from her."

She was silent. "I am aware."

"How about tomorrow, at Starbucks?" Derrick asked.

"Alright. One o'clock, then." Derrick glanced at Massie for confirmation.

"Okay." Then, without another word, Georgia hung up.

Massie felt herself shudder, and sank into a beanbag, willing its comfort to wrap around her like a loving hug. Instead, it felt like she was drowning in the ocean.

Starbucks was crowded, more crowded than Massie would have preferred, given the circumstances. She glanced at Derrick and Kendra for support. Any moment now, Georgia would appear.

"Massie?" Massie turned around and came face to face with her. Georgia had obviously tried to clean up, though not very well.

Her business suit was littered with stains and small tears. Her eyes, beady and sharp, assessed Massie, from her dark brown locks to her new wardrobe.

Massie nodded stiffly. "My," Georgia laughed. "These people really have done you well."

Derrick stepped forward and laid his arm protectively on Massie's shoulder. Georgia eyebrows arched up in surprise. "You must be Derrick, from the phone."

"That's right," he said curtly. Georgia shrugged.

"Let's not stand like idiots," Kendra said quietly. "Come and sit." She gestured to the comfy chairs behind them.

"Well," Georgia started. "I am a close family friend of Layne's." Massie stiffened at the word "family."

"Layne has really let herself go, and I was sent as a sort of… messenger, so to speak. She's been yelling your name, Massie. She misses you dearly." Massie glanced at Derrick and nodded.

"Even so, this isn't Massie's concern. She is not responsible or in any way related. Nothing's going to come from this meeting."

Georgia lowered her head. "It was a drastic move. I was hoping that if she saw you again, she would be alright."

Massie shook her head frantically. "No!" she mouthed.

Derrick shook his head. "Sorry, but like I said, it isn't her concern." Georgia turned her beady eyes to Massie.

"Why don't you talk?" she asked, confusion mingled with her ill concealed anger. When no one replied, she hung her head in defeat.

"I guess this trip was for nothing." She glanced at Massie before picking up her coat and walking out in a huff.

**wow one of my longest chapters! yay! and good for Massie, changing everyone for the better :)**

**i wouldnt want to meet Georgia, she sounds horrible!**

**I would love it if you reviewed!**

**Au revoir!**

**~lili**


	7. Lucky the epilogue

**I'm so grateful that you guys have been so patient! This chapter took me a while;), even though it's short.**

**and now...THE EPILOGUE**

Massie smiled at herself through the mirror. She had come so far in so little time. It had been nearly two years since her encounter with Layne. She stroked her hair and felt a pang of sadness course through her heart.

"Massie, Derrick is here!" Kendra called, her voice ringing through the practically empty house. Not that it would be for long anyway.

"Come on," Nate, Kendra's new husband called playfully. It had all happened so fast. He was an old friend of Kendra's; nice but persistent. Finally she'd said yes and soon enough they were married.

Massie hurried downstairs. Derrick was waiting at the door, and through the glass Massie could see Cam and Claire in the car waiting.

Kendra smiled, running her hand over her stomach. "Goodbye, and have a good time!" Massie nodded.

"Bye, mom! Bye, Nate!" she said happily. "Bye, Stephanie!" she added, blowing a kiss in the direction her Kendra's stomach.

Derrick held his hand out to her. "You ready?" he asked.

She took it, nodding. "More than ever."

Just before reaching the car, though, he stopped, taking both of her hands in his. "Massie," he murmured. She looked up.

"When we go to college next year, what's going to happen to –" She silenced him by touching her finger to his lips.

"There's time to think about that," she said gently. "But now is now; our life is here. And that's all that matters, right now."

He smiled. "All right."

They continued walking to the car. She took his arm and leaned in. He looked down, half surprised.

"Are you okay?" he whispered, stopping a few inches away from the car.

She thought for a few moments. "Yeah, I am," she smiled.

He smiled back for a few minutes before reaching into his pocket. "I wrote you this," he said, pulling out a slip of paper.

Do you hear me? I'm talking to you,  
Across the water across the deep blue ocean,  
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying,

Boy I hear you in my dreams,  
I feel your whisper across the sea,  
I keep you with me in my heart,  
You make it easier when life gets hard,

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend,  
Lucky to have been where I have been,  
Lucky to be coming home again,  
Ooh ooh ooh,

They don't know how long it takes,  
Waiting for a love like this,  
Every time we say goodbye,  
I wish we had one more kiss,  
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will,

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend,  
Lucky to have been where I have been,  
Lucky to be coming home again,

Lucky we're in love in every way,  
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed,  
Lucky to be coming home someday,

And so I'm sailing through the sea,  
To an island where we'll meet,  
You'll hear the music fill the air,  
I'll put a flower in your hair,

Though the breezes through trees,  
Move so pretty you're all I see,  
As the world keeps spinning 'round,  
You hold me right here, right now,

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend,  
Lucky to have been where I have been,  
Lucky to be coming home again,

I'm lucky we're in love in every way,  
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed,  
Lucky to be coming home someday,

Ooh ooh ooh,  
Ooh ooh ooh, ooh,

She looked up. "You wrote… this?" His eyes were apprehensive.

"Yeah, I did."

Massie threw arms around him. "Thank you," she whispered.

"You're welcome."

They turned back to face the car, and although Massie's voice was still slightly scratchy, she managed to utter three words.

"I love you."

He sighed. "Don't say it like you're saying goodbye." Derrick tried to hug her, but she pushed him away lightly.

"I have to, just in case. Every second we live is a moment slipping away. And that's why I have to say it."

"We've come so far," he whispered quietly.

Massie agreed silently, resisting the urge to let a small tear fall. "Um," she said her voice cracking. "Claire and Cam are waiting for us."

"Mass, what's wrong?" he asked. Massie turned away, feeling many others join her lone tear.

"Let's just go, okay?" She tried to pull away, but he held her there.

"Massie…"

"Today… today is my mom's birthday," she whispered. Massie felt stupid, furiously blinking away her tears.

Derrick gave her a pained look. "I'm so sorry, Massie. I really-"

She dropped her head. "Just let it go, alright?" she tried. Derrick looked like he was about to argue; but was cut off by the expression on her face.

"Hey," he whispered. "I love you. Don't think about her or-"

Massie reached into the pocket of her coat and thrust a letter at Derrick. "Read it," she murmured, biting her lip.

_Massie,_

_It's been so long since I've seen you. My little girl, are you all grown up? I'm so sorry. For everything. But I know that you're strong and you don't need me in your life. But if you ever do, I'll be here, waiting in the shadows._

_Your father would have been so proud of you. I know I am. He tried to take you with him, you know. But I wouldn't let him take away my baby girl. I lost contact with him right after he sent you an invitation to his marriage. I regret not showing you._

_His name is Robert Goode. His wife's name is Jenny, and last I heard they have one son named Aaron. I am telling you this so if you ever want to meet him, you'll know who to look for. He was living in Georgia the last time I saw him._

_Ataya would have turned twelve last week. I still cannot comprehend what angst and anger her death caused you. My grief is just as great._

_By the time you read this, I will have probably succumbed to my problems. I'm so sorry that I couldn't hold myself up for you. The road I took was dark and dangerous, and I was a fool for taking you along for the ride. I just hope that someday you'll understand what I went through, after all those years. And I love you, as absurd as that sounds, after everything that has happened._

_~Georgia_

He looked up. "Massie…"

"I still love her, Derrick, even after everything that has happened. Is that wrong?"

"No," he replied decidedly. "It isn't. She's your mother and that's something you can't ignore."

Massie nodded, sighing in relief as the coil of anxiety that had been squeezing her heart relaxed. As the distant sound of a bus roared to life, she smiled. That had been what had started this, after all.

**the end!**

**i've been thinking of making a sequel... or prequel... which would you prefer? Or maybe nothing at all. I'll post a poll on my profile.**

**Thanks again for reading! and the song is called Lucky. (the glee version)**

**~lili**


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